A Moment, An Hour, A Day, A Lifetime
by Thia D
Summary: Lily Evans has finally decided she’s in love with James Potter, at the same point he's decided he's giving up on her. Their story of love over six months and six holidays. JPOV/LPOV R
1. Halloween Masquerade

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! All characters (with the exception of Brigit) and the world belong to J.K. Rowling. I will not do this every chapter because once is enough, no need to get repetitive.**

Chapter One: Halloween Masquerade

_They say it takes a moment to meet a person, an hour to know them, a day to love them and a lifetime to forget them... _

_Lily's POV_: He used to sit there all the time. Under that big oak tree overlooking the grounds. Some days I would go out there to watch him, just to see that big lopsided grin. And every time I stared out across the water, I wondered. Was he really so bad? Did he deserve every horrible thing I said to him, every name I called him? No, I think not, but I was young, I was naïve. But it was that one October day that I realized I was in love with him. Well, maybe not that day. But it was the day that I realized that he wasn't such a bad guy after all.

It was just another lunch, on just another day. He sauntered up to me, just like any other day and threw his arm around my shoulders, just like any other day. I didn't bother shrugging him off; I kept walking, just like any other day.

"Heya, Lils! I was just wondering…" He started.

"No."

He looked at me with mock hurt, just like he did every day. At least then I thought I didn't hurt him. Back then, I thought he didn't know how to hurt, or even how to feel.

"You don't even know what I was about to say!" he said with his big puppy dog eyes.

"Sure I do. 'Want to go to the Halloween Masquerade with me?' And my answer, as always, is 'no.'"

He beamed that big lopsided grin at me. "Actually, darling, I already have a date."

That made me stop in my tracks. James Potter? A date? Before he asked me? Against my better judgment, I was hurt. I couldn't keep the jealousy out of my voice.

"Oh really? Who?" I asked, though I think my voice may have quavered. He looked a little uneasy.

"Brigit…" he said quietly.

With a great huff, I picked up my feet and stormed off. Brigit? That little whore agreed to go to the dance with _James Potter_? How could my best friend do such a thing!?

Through my angry thoughts, I heard his big feet echoing on the floor, his voice resounding in my ears.

"Lily!" he shouted. I damned him to hell for his Quidditch training as his hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder. "Lily, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I gave him my best glare through the traitorous tears welling up in my eyes. "Nothing."

He cocked his head to the side and gave me a quizzical look. "Lily, if you don't want me to go with her, I won't."

Through stormy thoughts, I was barely able to muster a lie. "I don't care who _you_ go with, I just don't want to see her get hurt."

The bewildered look on his face almost made me laugh. "You're crying because…you don't want me to hurt Brigit?"

Damn traitorous eyes. "I'm not crying!"

"Okaaaayy… But what gives you the idea that I'm going to hurt her? It's just a dance. One night. It's not the rest of our lives."

My lie was slipping through its own holes and I was left looking like a fool. "And since when did that matter to you? Go away, Potter!" I was quickly losing my composure. I think my teary eyes played tricks on me, because I swore there was a smile playing at his lips. Suddenly those lips were right next to my ear.

"It has always mattered, Lily Evans. But if you want me to, I'll tell Brigit I can't go," he whispered, then he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me to stew in my anger and tears.

I didn't realize it then, but that was the day I began to understand that every time James Potter said he loved me, he meant it.

_James' POV_: I loved that tree that looks over Hogwarts' lake. My dad told me the first time I ever got on the Hogwarts' Express that he and my mother had carved their initials in the trunk on their graduation day. It was my dream since then to someday write Lily's and mine. I knew that she loathed me, but I never lost that childish hope, that maybe, just maybe, someday, she would come running to me, proclaiming her love. Almost halfway into my seventh year, that hope had started to diminish. But that day, the hope flared to life with a brilliance that scared me.

I saw her walking towards the library, probably skipping lunch just to get some extra studying in, that little bookworm. My heart had somehow found its way to my throat, as it did every time I saw her, and I tried desperately to swallow it, as I did every time I saw her. As calmly as I could, I walked up to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. My heart stopped, because, not only did she not pull away, I swear she leaned into me.

"Heya Lils!" I said, my voice faltering with excitement and disappointment. "I was just wondering…"

"No."

Little witch was quick to shut me down. Honestly, I was only going to ask her what the transfiguration homework was (even though I'd already done it…), but that just hurt. "You don't even know what I was about to say!"

She looked at me with her 'you're-kidding-right?' eyes. "Sure I do. 'Want to go to the Halloween Masquerade with me?' And my answer, as always, is 'no.'"

Inwardly, I sighed. Clever witch. I had to admit, though, I had it coming. So, I just grinned at her. I saw a spark in her eyes that I couldn't quite place, but I liked it. "Actually, darling, I already have a date."

She stopped walking abruptly, taking my arm with her and causing me to stumble. I looked back at her, thoroughly confused. This girl hated me, or so I thought, but when she spoke, I could hear hurt and jealousy beyond her curiosity. That sound broke my heart and made me giddy.

"Oh really? Who?"

Now was the part where I felt guilty. "Brigit…" I said, hoping that she hadn't heard me. Unfortunately, she had. Her eyes flashed at me with an emotion I had always wanted to see, then her feet were flying across the floor.

"Shit, shit, shit," I muttered. Then I shot after her, thoughts racing through my head. Lily Evans, jealous? About me? I never thought I would think such things, let alone that they would be true. But there I was, chasing after Lily Evans, confused as all hell.

"Lily!" I shouted across the hall. I thanked Merlin for my Quidditch training as my hand flew through the air and caught hold of her shoulder. "Lily, what the hell is wrong with you?"

She glared at me through tear-filled eyes and my heart broke. I was the cause of those tears. "Nothing."

Knowing I was the cause and hoping I was the cure for her tears broke my heart even further and my voice refused to remain steady. "Lily, if you don't want me to go with her, I won't."

"I don't care who _you_ go with, I just don't want to see her get hurt."

I cocked my head to the side, an annoying habit I have when I'm confused. Me? Hurt Brigit? In one night? I didn't think it was possible, but here Lily was, telling me she didn't want to see her best friend hurt by me. I was baffled. And hurt.

"You're crying because…you don't want me to hurt Brigit?"

The tears rolled down her cheeks and her glare intensified. "I'm not crying!"

Honestly, I thought she was beautiful when she was upset. It wasn't like she was dainty. Her cheeks were red, her eyes puffy, but she had never looked so attractive to me. It was the tears I wanted to stop, knowing that I had caused them. Really, what had I been thinking, going with Lily's best friend? I'm sure I would have cried too if she had decided to go with Sirius.

But really, where had she gotten the idea that I would hurt her best friend, that I would want to? I don't think lunch had ever been so complicated.

"Okaaaayy… But what gives you the idea that I'm going to hurt her? It's just a dance. One night. It's not the rest of our lives."

If possible, her glare intensified. I could barely see little slits of green from beneath her eyelashes. "And since when did that matter to you? Go away, Potter!"

I couldn't help it. My lips smiled on their own. I leaned forward to whisper in her ear. My heart did a quick jig as she took in a sharp breath.

"It has always mattered, Lily Evans. But if you want me to, I'll tell Brigit I can't go." Merlin, I wanted to kiss her so bad, but instead I turned and followed my stomach to where the food was.

_Lily's POV_: As I lay in my bed that night, I swear my curtains were animated. James' face swam all around me, his laugh whispering in the wind. _Oh Merlin_, I thought, _I'm falling for the Prick._ Did I love him, or did I hate him? I didn't know anymore. I hadn't left my state of confusion since lunch, and I hated it. I hated being out of control, not knowing the answers. Especially when I couldn't find them about myself. I started to play with my wand, projecting the time onto the ceiling of my four-poster. 3:45 A.M. Six hours. I'd been lying awake in my bed for _six_ _hours_. Sighing, I slipped out of bed and grabbed my sketchpad.

I headed for the common room. As I rounded the stairs, I sighed in relief. No one was there. I mentally slapped myself. It was four in the morning. Who would be up? I sat down in a chair across from the dying embers in the fireplace. As I stared at the red and gold glow, wondering what I should draw, his face just seemed to swim before my eyes. Smiling, I flipped through the pages, past the happy portraits of my parents, the grounds after the first snow, a self-portrait I despised, until I found a clean page. As my charcoal pencil moved across the page, I could see that jovial face coming to life. His lopsided grin seemed to be laughing heartily at me. His stubborn midnight hair stood on end, as it always did after he ran his Quidditch-calloused hand through it. His warm hazel eyes stared at me with a molten look of ardour. As I sat back to admire my work, a teardrop fell across the page, warping the paper. Seeing the beautiful face ruined made me cry even harder. For some time my body was racked with sobs until finally, exhaustion took me and I fell into darkness.

_James' POV_: Sometimes I'd go down to the common room just for some alone time. I'd sit there and think…and think…and think some more. That night I was just sitting there, my brain too overworked from my run-in with Lily to think anymore. As I watched the ashen logs in the hearth fissile and make odd shapes, I heard footsteps on the girls' stairs. I quickly covered myself in my invisibility cloak, and just in time too. As my feet disappeared, I saw a flash of red followed by some purple pyjamas. And bright green eyes. She sat down in the chair right across from me and I was fully able to appreciate that porcelain face, those emerald eyes, the fire that framed her face. I drifted into a fantasy of the two of us (I don't think I really need to go into _that_ fantasy…). And as I floated back, a soft smile came to her face. She flipped through the pages, and finally found the one she wanted, picked up her pencil and began to draw. Her eyes sparkled with a light I'd never seen before and I felt jealousy welling up inside me. Who was she smiling like that for?

As quietly as possible, I rose from my chair and strode over to her, leaning behind her to see what she was drawing. I gaped. She was drawing the face I saw in the mirror every day; she was drawing me. I think I became a puddle then. That look in her eyes, that look was for me. As she finished the portrait, a little splash hit the paper. Then another, and one after another they came, her body shaking with silent sobs. My heart broke for the second time that day. Again, I was the cause of her tears. When her sobs finally subsided, her last hiccup come and gone, I did the only thing I could think of; I took her to my bed.

_Lily's POV_: I awoke to light shining through the gap in the curtains around the four-poster. I panicked, thinking that I was missing my morning classes. I tried to wriggle my way out of the blankets to find that I was trapped by my own design. I sighed, finally remembering that it was Saturday. I turned to the curtains and pulled the gap shut, bathing myself in darkness. Hey, another few hours couldn't hurt, I thought. I laid back down into the pillows and noticed that the smell was different. Not a bad different, actually I rather enjoyed it. With another sigh, I cuddled up to them and promptly fell asleep.

_James' POV_: Knowing that Lily was in my bed did wonderful thing to my ego, but not so wonderful things for my body. From where I lay on the hard, uncomfortable floor, I could see Lily's silhouette move and pull the curtains closed. I smiled as I heard a content sigh. All the blood in my body rushed below the border thinking that Lily was curled up in my _bed_. I was too tired to worry about it though. I was so tired that I don't even remember telling my body to rise and fall into the bed. I just remember sinking into my mattress and feeling Lily's arms wrap around my waist.

_Lily's POV_: When I woke again the light was no longer shining from between a new gap in the curtains. I turned my head to see that James Potter was lying next to me. I looked down to see that his arms were wrapped around me protectively, almost lovingly. Honestly, I could have stayed that way forever, cuddled up with James, but with my reputation at stake, I shot straight up and shook him roughly.

"James," I whispered urgently. "James!"

His hazel eyes opened slowly, almost regretfully. "Lily?" he said hoarsely. Then his eyes widened and he, like me, shot up. "Lily! Oh Merlin, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep, it's just, the floor…"

I looked at him with what I hope was pity. "Potter, tell me what happened."

_James' POV_: I awoke to Lily shaking my shoulder fervently and whispering my name. I didn't want to open my eyes, but I had a feeling that if I didn't, Lily would take more drastic measures to wake me. When I saw her bright green eyes alive with worry, I realized the gravity of the situation. I sat up quickly and started apologizing.

"Lily! Oh Merlin, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep, it's just, the floor…" As I spoke, I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

She looked at me with true pity in her eyes. "Potter, tell me what happened."

I heaved a great sigh and looked down.

"WellyouwereinthecommonroomandyoufellasleepandyouhadthatsketchofmeandI-knewthatifanyonefoundyoulikethatyourlifewouldberuinedsoIbroughtyouuphereand-IsleptonthefloorbutitwasuncomfortablesoIdecidedtosleepupherebutIdidntdoanything-I swear," I said quickly.

She looked at me with a completely baffled expression. "Excuse me?"

"You were in the common room where you fell asleep and you had that sketch of me. I knew that if anyone found you like that your life would be ruined so I brought you up here. I tried to sleep on the floor but it was uncomfortable so I decided to sleep up here but I didn't do anything, I swear," I repeated.

"How gallant of you," she said contemptuously. And with that, Lily jumped out of my bed to find six very surprised eyes upon her.

"So our Jamsie finally got you in bed, did he?"

_Lily's POV_: "How gallant of you," I said, disappointed that Potter had brought me to his bed no ill intentions at all. I was hurt and angry. So angry, in fact, that I swung my legs over the side of the bed and jumped out before I remembered that Potter shared the room with four other boys. All I wanted was to get away from him. And as I found myself face to chest with Sirius Black, I regretted it. I looked up at dark, gleeful eyes.

"So our Jamsie finally got you in bed, did he?"

From behind the curtains came a disgruntled voice. "Don't call me that!"

My eyes narrowed as I turned to face the curtains behind me and said "No, not a chance."

Remus Lupin, my fellow prefect, raised an eyebrow at me. "What were you two doing in there if not shagging?"

My jaw dropped to the floor as I turned back to face Remus.

"Sleeping," piped in Peter, as if it were the simplest thing in the world really.

"Thank you, Peter," I said, grateful to have something to say. "That's exactly what we were doing."

Peter looked pleased with himself. Sirius suddenly noticed my open sketchpad on the night table. He picked it up and stared at the face of his best friend, then looked up at me. He repeated the process a few more times until I burst.

"Enough already!" I half shouted. "Yes, I drew that, but you know what? It's nothing more than kindling now!" I stormed over to Sirius, snatched back my sketchpad, and stomped out of the dormitory with what little dignity I had left.

_James' POV_: Almost two weeks after my fellow Marauders had found Lily and I in a compromising position, I found myself headed towards the Head Common Room. Lily hadn't talked to me much since that day, and she had reverted back to 'Potter.' I was no longer 'James,' and rounds were no longer pleasant. She insisted we split up to make rounds faster, but I knew better. Lily wanted nothing to do with me any more. She didn't look at me with that sparkle anymore; I might as well have been dead to her. And everything was going so well, too…

The fiery hope that had been burning dimmer and dimmer each day was nothing more than a spark now, but I held onto it with my life. I couldn't stop loving her, and for once, I didn't have an answer for my dilemma. Sirius did, though.

_5 hours before…_

"_Prongs, really now, this broad isn't worth it," Sirius said from behind his Playwizard. I glared at him with all my being._

"_Do you really get all your bedroom skills from a __**magazine**__?" I retorted, swearing one day I'd get one of the Playwizard witches to pop out and slap him._

"_Maybe…"He looked at me from over the magazine with eyes alight with mischief. "Jamsie, old boy, if you want her so bad, I think I have a solution."_

_Wary to trust him, but wanting more than anything to get her to love me once again, I did the only thing I could; "Pray tell, Padfoot."_

_He smirked as he lowered the Playwizard. "Simple; the Halloween Masquerade is this Saturday."_

_I raised my eyebrows. "Sirius, I am not asking her to that dance."_

_He dropped the magazine, his eyes filled with mirth. "James, ol' buddy, ol' pal, did I say ask her out?" He held up a hand to silence my answer. "No, I didn't, see what I think you should do is…" He proceeded to tell me every plan he had in mind, most of them too dirty for me to even contemplate._

But one of them just might work, and that one I was staking my life on.

_Lily's POV_: As I silently slipped into the Head's Bathroom, a small gasp escaped my lips. The cream walls rose up around me in a globe, the pool-like bathtub curving perfectly along the edges of the far wall. Scented candles floated high in the air, a sunset painted upon the upper portion of the room. I'd been a prefect for two years, and, of course, I'd used the prefect's bathroom on numerous bad days, but this bathroom was a dream-come-true for a broken-hearted woman. I pulled a bottle of my favourite bubble bath and a huge chunk of chocolate from inside my fluffy white bathrobe.

As I started to walk towards the giant seashell in front of me, I slowly shrugged out of the robe, already the tension in my body melting. The air smelt of cherry blossoms and spring. With great difficulty, I was able to turn the giant gold knob and the water began to flow from the spout, filling the bath with warm bubbly liquid. I picked up my bubble bath, unscrewed the cap and poured the entire contents into the water. I stuck a toe in the pool and with a sigh slid my entire body into the bubbles.

I pulled the bobby pins from my hair and sunk further into the bath, my head under water. All the tension in my body melted away. As my stress floated away, my mind floated with it, going back to my bedroom.

_5 hours before…_

_I sat on my bed, mulling over all that had happened in the past two weeks. I was no longer talking to Brigit, though, in her defence, it wasn't her fault. How was she to know that I was totally, unconditionally, in love with James Potter? Oh Merlin, was I in love with him. I could no longer talk to him for fear that I would start professing that love and never stop. I couldn't call him 'James' for fear that it would be a loving whisper. I could no longer be around him in close proximity for fear that I would jump him and never let go._

_His face floated in front of me, causing tears of despair to well up in my eyes. I leaned over and pulled out the portrait from under my bed. As I stared at the beautiful face, marred by my tears, the hot liquid in my eyes poured out in an uncontrollable stream. My hands too shaky to hold the portrait anymore, it slipped from my hands and through the air to land at the feet of my former best friend._

"_Lily," she said, bending to pick up the paper. "You can't go on like this."_

_My vision blurred by my tears, I looked up at her. "Brigit, I think I love him! But I don't want to! I can't!"_

_Like the true friend she was, she walked over and tucked me into a hug, the weeks of my mutiny vanishing. "Why keep it inside, letting it eat you alive? Nothing is worth that."_

_Into her shoulder, I sobbed. "Brig, he's got such a reputation for being a sex-god. How can I ever compete with all the girls he's been with? How can I trust that he doesn't just want me to be another notch in his belt?"_

_Brigit pushed me away. "Look, honey, if you want to die alone and sad because you never told James how you feel, it's fine by me. But he loves you and you're hurting him. Even if you can live with your own depression, can you live with his, knowing that it's your fault?"_

"No, I can't," I whispered to the bubbles.

_James POV_: Slipping into the Head's Common Room, I shrugged out of my street clothes, hoping that Lily wasn't there to see. Today had been hell, and the only thing that had been able to make the stress disappear was my broomstick. After being out riding the winds for hours, my hair was stiff, as were my sweaty muscles. I grunted and groaned my way to the Head's Bathroom, hoping there I could find respite and relief.

As I opened the door, I found it lit solely by floating candles. I opened the door further to find a seashell bath filled to the brim with bubbles. _What a wonderful bathroom_, I thought sarcastically. As I neared the tub, I was shocked to see red hair peeking over the side.

"No, I can't," I heard Lily's voice say. I looked around, fearing she was not alone. I moved closer, wondering if the other person might be hidden in the bubbles. As I came to look on the face of the woman I had fallen in love with, I found her eyes closed, tears leaking from them.

"I can't live hurting him like this. I have to tell him…"

Now I knew she was alone. At least, she thought she was. But those words caused anger and jealousy to rise up inside me.

"What do you have to tell who?" I blurted, so caught up in my own thoughts that I let them escape.

Her eyes flew open and locked on me. A frightened squeak escaped her throat and she sank further into the bubbles.

"James!" she squeaked, a bit breathlessly. "What are you doing in here?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, I was _going_ to take a bath…" I trailed off, suddenly struck with a thought. "You didn't answer the question."

She looked at me with growing anger. "I was under the impression that I owed you nothing."

_You owe me a heart_, I thought. "You don't," I said aloud. "But seeing as you can't leave without showing me everything and your wand is out of reach, I'd say you don't have much of a choice…" All the weeks of pent up rage and hurt came roaring to the surface, lashing out to infect the person who had caused them.

She looked surprised, and under the surprise, I could see another emotion. Hurt, maybe? "James," _was it me or did that sound like a loving caress? _"you wouldn't dare." A small smile found its way to her lips. "For the right price, you would do anything for me." She slowly began to rise from the water, I stood frozen, my mind in shock, my body rigid with anticipation.

Her shoulders rose from the bubbles first, the ivory skin hinting at what was lower. As she slowly stood, her hands rose too, coming to cup her breasts, much to my delight. But when her flat stomach rose out of the water and her hands fell, I was dismayed to see that the bubbles clung to her chest, obscuring the scenery from view. And then I knew what she was doing.

"Lily," was it me or did my voice really sound that strangled? I cleared my throat nonetheless. "Lily, what are you doing?"

A devilish smirk came to her lips. "Why James. I would think that the Sex God of Gryffindor would know what I was doing…"

Without thinking, "I'm not the one with that title. That would be Sirius. I'm second in line." What was I thinking?! Telling the girl that I loved that I wasn't as good in bed as the rumours said?! I was losing my touch…

"Second Best is good enough…" she said in a voice that had my body singing. She had risen completely from the water now, one leg propped up on the side of the tub—what a mundane word…it was so much more than a tub. It was a seduction pool—the water running off her leg in a way that had parts to the south reacting. She pushed herself out of the tub and began advancing toward me.

_Lily's POV_: "What do you have to tell who?"

My eyes flew open as my heart came to an abrupt halt. James. I squeaked, hoping that somehow this was just an illusion.

No, James was there, standing before me in his sweat-soaked birthday suit. Merlin he was perfect, and that did nothing to help me. I sank down into the bubbles, hoping to hide myself.

"James!" I said—was my voice always that hoarse? —hoping beyond hope that saying his name aloud would break the spell. It didn't. "What are you doing in here?"

"Uh, I was _going_ to take a bath…" he said, as if it were obvious. Silly me. I thought he might have been in here because I was… "You didn't answer the question."

_Damn_. When in doubt, act like a cold hard bitch. That was suddenly becoming my motto, my go-to. "I was under the impression that I owed you nothing."

A thought flashed behind his eyes. "You don't," did he really just say that? I thought I knew James Potter better than that. "But seeing as you can't leave without showing me everything and your wand is out of reach, I'd say you don't have much of a choice…" _Oh shit, did he really just say that?_

Well if he wanted to play that way, I would play dirty. "James," I said in what I hoped was a sing-song croon, "you wouldn't dare." I smirked. "For the right price, you would do anything for me." I followed the words with an action I knew he would follow; I stood up in the tub.

As I stood, I knew that in order for this to work, I had to do it right. I slowly ran my hands up my sides, gathering bubbles as they went. I covered my breasts in a way that I was sure he would see differently. I smiled when his body told me he had.

"Lily," he croaked. A smile started tugging at my lips. He coughed. "Lily, what are you doing?"

I smirked, hoping to hide my dismay. His mind said he didn't want this, even though his body said he did. "I would think the Sex God of Gryffindor would know what I was doing…"

He didn't hesitate, "I'm not the one with that title. That would be Sirius. I'm second in line." I smiled, knowing he was losing it, and losing it fast.

"Second Best is good enough…" I was upright now; one foot out of the tub in what I thought was the signature pose. I lifted the other leg and found myself on the tiles, walking toward him in a way I hoped screamed seduction.

His eyes closed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, his chest rising in an irregular fashion. I reached him and snaked a hand out to caress his shoulder, my arm pressing against his chest as I wound my way around him. Quickly grabbing my wand, I pressed myself against his back, my lips dangerously close to his ear.

"But not for me," I whispered, wheeling around and almost running out the door.

_James' POV_: I felt Lily's fingers lightly brushing across my chest as she circled me. I felt her press up against my back, her breasts tantalizing me. I felt her lean into me as she raised herself onto her toes. I felt her breath tickle my ear.

"But not for me," she breathed. I felt a cold wave wash over me as her words hit me._ Not for me_. Second best wasn't good enough for her. She didn't want me. She never wanted me. She never would.

But that look…the look in her eyes was so real. That couldn't have been a dream. She looked at me like that…didn't she? But she said she didn't want me. The fire in me suddenly died, and I felt myself crumble. An anguished cry escaped my lips, tearing my vocal cords as my heart was reduced to a shell that once housed a fire even Voldemort wouldn't fight. And Lily had never recognized that fire…

As my screams died, I slumped to the floor, somewhere in the back of my mind realizing that my cheeks were soaked and salty. The only girl with my heart didn't even realize she had it and she intentionally broke it.

"Why, why, why?" I sobbed, barely recognizing the strangled voice that came from my torn throat. "Why, Lily? Why can't you see that I love you?"

_Lily's POV_: As I leaned against the wall outside the bathroom, my eyes started to leak salty, warm liquid. I reached up to wipe them away and a scream that shattered my heart ripped through the walls. The scream continued for forever, reducing me to nothing, killing my soul. My knees buckled beneath me as my arms flew over my head, and I slid to the floor, my own screams matching James'.

"I'm so sorry, James. So, so sorry…" I whispered, my voice dead as my soul. As his screams died, I rose on shaky legs and made the long journey to my bedroom. There, unable to find the strength in me to stay upright, I fell into the pillows, into a bitter oblivion.

_James' POV_: On October 31st, Halloween, I found myself clothed in dress robes a colour that rivalled midnight. My heart lay behind my ribs, barely beating anymore. Even with a broken heart, that I was sure was beyond repair, I was still going to walk into the Great Hall with a beautiful girl on my arm and a smile I hoped would hide all my feelings. I sighed as I looked away from the mirror, picking up the plain black mask that lay on my bed. With another sigh I tried to flatten my hair one last time, then walked out of the dormitory.

In the common room, I waited at the bottom of the stairs for Brigit. I looked up when I heard footsteps coming down. She wore a powder blue evening gown that accentuated her body with a tasteful cut. In her hand was a golden pole, at the end a feathered mask the same colour as her dress. She stumbled on the stairs on her way down and I rushed to catch her. When she had righted herself and fixed her dress, she looked up and smiled at me.

Taking Brigit's hand, I walked proudly, if not whole, out of the common room door.

_Lily's POV_: I sat at my dressing table the night of the Halloween Masquerade. I had spent hours taming my curls, finally getting them to stay in the loose bun I had them in, but a few rebels escaped, and I was okay with it. It looked…nice.

And my dress…Merlin, my dress was amazing. I had found it one Hogsmeade weekend, and fell in love. I loved it. It wasn't flashy, it wasn't trashy. The emerald green perfectly matched my eyes and the little gold threads that adorned it didn't detract from its simple beauty, just barely accentuating it. This dress was made for me.

Too bad it was wasted on James. He didn't want me anymore, and I couldn't blame him. I had broken his heart, and I knew it all too well. I sighed, ashamed of myself, ashamed of what I had done. I stood and grabbed my green and cream mask, adorning it and sighing again. I decided that fussing over my appearance anymore would do me more harm than good and walked out of the room.

_James' POV_: I sat at a table in the Great Hall, hidden from the entrance, but I could see everything. I watched Brigit mingle, everyone but me completely transfixed by her American accent. I yawned, wondering if I should have even come to this dance, and looked over at the doors. My jaw snapped shut and I sat up straight, my eyes glued to the woman in the threshold.

The emerald green dress hugged her curves, then floated away, playing with my eyes and making my mouth water. Along the cut that slid from her shoulder to between her breasts was lined gold, twisting and curving in a Celtic design. Her red hair was pinned up loosely and some of the curls were free, brushing her shoulders. Her captivating eyes stood out starkly against the jade trimmed cream mask that rested lightly on the bridge of her nose.

Lily looked around and I saw the nervousness in her eyes. I also saw that she was alone. My heart stopped, then beat with ferocity. I wasn't letting go. I couldn't. I never would.

"It's a beautiful dress, isn't it?" said a voice that was inexplicably American.

"It is."_ Especially on her… _I couldn't deny it, not even for Brigit's sake.

Brigit smiled at me as I turned to look at her. "James, she's my best friend, the first one I made here. I know you're in love with her, that much is obvious. And she knows it."

I gaped. My _date_ was telling me all about my love life, and she was completely_ nonchalant_ about it. "Brigit—"

"No, James. Go ask her to dance. I know you're dying to," she smiled.

My smile was sad. "Brigit, she would never dance with me."

One eyebrow rose. "You really are oblivious…Look, you're wearing a mask, and it's dark. If she wouldn't dance with James Potter, would she dance with a handsome stranger?"

Her question raised a good point. She wouldn't know it was I. Lily would dance with anyone, as long as it wasn't me. I smiled at Brigit as I rose. I kissed her cheek and began to walk away.

"Good luck!" she said none too softly. My grin got even wider.

I tried desperately to swallow my heart as with every step it seemed to get wider in my throat. When Lily was close enough to touch, Sirius grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the table he sat at with Remus.

"She looks absolutely delicious," he said, nodding in Lily's general direction. I glared. He grinned. "Oh, right, sorry, nothing sexual about the way she's dressed tonight. She looks 'ravishing.'"

"She does look amazing," Remus said, I guess hoping to stop a fight before it began. I looked at him. "What!? She does!" he cried, throwing his hands up.

"Yes, she looks amazing," I said slowly. "And I was about to ask her to dance."

Sirius scoffed. Remus snickered. I glared. "Well, this was fun. I'm going to go do what I set out to do now." I got up and walked away, hoping to reach Lily without any more distractions. There were none.

Putting my hand on her lower back, I leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Want to dance?"

She jumped, then turned to look at me. She smiled. "Sure."

I took her by the hand and led her out on the floor. As the first song began to play, we began to dance. Well, she did. I'm not sure what I did, but I do know that I watched her, transfixed. Her body moved with the music, flowed in and out of the airwaves. I smiled, knowing that if I didn't dance too, I would look like a fool. The song ended, but her movements did not. She kept dancing, even as the song changed to a racy tune. She flowed into it perfectly, letting the song weave itself into her dance, and I couldn't help but stare.

She danced and I moved (I could hardly call it dancing when I was so clumsy and Lily was so…perfect) and as each song ended, she never stopped dancing. I tried to move with her, but her dance was too fluid for me to follow. After a long time of her flawless dance, a slow song began to play, and I smiled.

_Lily's POV_: The stranger had asked me to dance and he looked so hopeful I just couldn't say no. We danced and danced, all the while, he stared at me the same way James always did. The songs changed but our dance did not. He moved as I did, never stopping, never changing.

As a slow song began to play, a smile broke out across his face. "Dance with me," he said, his sweet deep voice reverberating through my bones in a way the bass from the music could not. His smile was infectious, and I couldn't help but agree again. I stepped forward, my arms slipping behind his neck as his hands found their way to my waist. I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging engulf me, and something about it just felt _right_. I leaned into him, my head resting against his chest.

"You're beautiful," he said, and I couldn't help but believe him. I looked up, and suddenly felt the irresistible urge to kiss him. I found myself leaning forward before I commanded my body to do so, and I found that he was doing the same.

_James' POV_: Our lips only met for a second before Lily pulled away. The blush on her cheeks made her mask and her eyes stand out even more in the dim light.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice barely penetrating the noise around us.

"Don't be, I liked it," I said, hoping she would take the hint and give me another. The deepening of crimson on her cheeks told me she took the hint, but she didn't act on it.

"That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. I'm in love with someone else."

The reality of her words crashed down on me. She was in love with someone and he wasn't me. I prayed for a hole to open in the floor and swallow me.

"Who?" I didn't even want to say it. It slipped out and there was no taking it back. Her face went red to her ears and I thought maybe I was going to get hit. I cringed.

_Lily's POV_: I wanted to let it out, just tell someone the truth. I really did, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I didn't know this man. I had just kissed him, and now he wanted to know who I was in love with. I couldn't tell him. What if he would tell James? What if behind that mask, it _was_ James?

I couldn't answer. There were no words. I slowly backed away, and he didn't move to follow me. Once I was out of the door, I leaned up against the wall, taking a moment to remove my shoes. Then I bolted.

_James' POV_: I slowly made my way to the hall to find that Lily was gone. Leaning up against the wall, I looked up too the ceiling and sighed. She had refused to answer my question, and that was answer enough. She was in love with someone she didn't want anyone to know about. There was only one person she wouldn't want anyone to know she was in love with. And I knew him well.

Lily Evans was in love with me, and she would never admit it without help.


	2. An American Tradition

**A/N: Sorry about the delay! Reality intruded on my happy little story in the form of life. But here it is! I hope you like it!**

Chapter Two: An American Tradition

_LPOV_: It happened on November 2nd. I hadn't seen James at all since before the dance, and when he looked at me, I swear he was trying to tell me something. He looked at me like he knew, and that scared me. He smiled at me in a way that had secret parts of me singing. When his eyes met mine, it was tunnel vision, like I was the only one he could see. He held himself in a different way that just screamed confidence, and I couldn't help but think that he knew something I didn't. It was almost like he was trying to coax a confession out of me.

He had been in my thoughts throughout the day and I spent all my time trying to figure it out.

After my last class had finished, I was on my way to the HCR (it had suddenly become my haven…) lost in my thoughts as I had been throughout the day. So lost was I that one minute I was staring unseeingly down the corridors, the next I was brought back to reality when my back slammed into the wall.

I found myself pinned between hard stone and James' tense body, his hands on both sides of my head, his arms locking me in. His eyes bore into mine and it took all I had to remember how to breathe.

"Lily," he said, his voice rough, almost angry, but there was something else there too.

"James," I breathed. It was all I had time to say before his lips touched mine, and I was caught in a whirlwind. It only lasted a second, but I swear it was the longest second of my life, and I never wanted it to end.

"I've been looking for you," his voice was barely louder than his low breathing, but it was a roar to my suddenly sensitive ears.

"Oh?" I could find nothing more to say; he was so distracting. He had just come from practice; his uniform devoid of its padding and only a layer of leather covered him. Needless to say, my mind was entertaining me with fantasies I was quickly lost in.

His lips were close enough to leave a ghost of a kiss on my lips, and I was suddenly praying that ghost would become a solid manifestation.

"Yes…" My hands were suddenly itching to touch him. His eyes closed as their will overrode mine, reaching out to caress his chest. They took their damn sweet time running up along the well-muscled planes, coming to meet behind his neck.

His eyes snapped open as I pulled him closer, unable to deny the need I felt building up inside me. He must have realized this, as his lips suddenly found mine, his hands sliding down from the wall to grasp my hips, pulling me against him. My hands slipped into his sweaty, midnight hair as his slid up my ribs.

His teeth gently nipped my lower lip, and my mouth opened of its own accord. One flick of his tongue on my own had my knees buckling. I pulled away, afraid that any more and I might just explode.

"James?" I panted, unsure why he was suddenly crossing all the lines I had carefully drawn, breaking all the walls I had built over the years.

His eyes slowly opened as a smile found itself on his lips.

"Go out with me, Lily," he whispered, his lips pressing feathery kisses along my jaw, down my neck, coming to a stop at a pulse point. I forgot how to breathe.

"James?" I asked on a breath that was coming all too irregularly, finding it hard to deny him and yet terrified to say yes.

"Lily…" he growled, his teeth gently biting my neck.

He was suddenly the only thing holding me up, and I could only whimper. I gasped as his mouth opened and he sucked and nibbled on my neck. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but I knew there would be a mark there later. I closed my eyes, hardly able to stand it.

_JPOV_: After the dance I decided I was going to seduce Lily Evans. Oh, I'd been trying for years to woo her, get her to fall in love with me, and apparently, it worked, but now she had to admit it, and I could find no other way to get her to do so.

I watched her in all the classes we had together, waggling my eyebrows, trying to someway get her to come to me. When she didn't, I decided on another plan of action.

I figured I would try the HCR right after practice, since Brigit said that was where she always was anymore. I was in luck; she was headed there right after Arithmancy. I quietly snuck after her, whirling her around and pushing her up against a wall.

Her eyes held shock as hazel met emerald, my hands falling on the wall to either side of her. Her breath caught and the sound had my body tingling.

"Lily." It was as much of a greeting as I could manage.

"James," she whispered, and I couldn't help myself.

I didn't want to scare her away, so I pulled away a second after my lips touched hers, same as she had done to me.

"I've been looking for you," I said, hoping that maybe words would make her start breathing again.

"Oh?" she asked, her voice distracted. I found it took all I had to keep from becoming lost in my thoughts. Her shirt was un-tucked, the top few buttons undone, and her skirt wrinkled from sitting. Her hair had come down somewhere in the day, delightfully tousled from all the times she unknowingly ran her fingers through it in frustration.

"Yes…" I said, finding it hard to keep myself grounded in reality. A few seconds later when her hands began to run up my chest, I found it harder not to grab her.

When her hands came to lock behind my neck and pulled me closer, it was difficult not to pick her up and carry her to the HCR. I did the only thing I knew would keep me grounded; I kissed her.

My hands refused to stick to the wall as her lips moved against mine; instead, they found their way to her hips. Her hands slid into my hair, pulling slightly as my hands inched up her ribs.

I bit her lip, hoping that maybe she would let the kiss go deeper. As her mouth opened for me (hallelujah!), my tongue slipped inside and I felt her pull on me. And then her mouth wasn't on mine.

Her breath came in raspy pants as she tried to regain control of her lungs. "James?" she asked. And I suddenly wondered if maybe I wasn't the one she was in love with.

But when she didn't push me away, the thought slipped from my mind, another one replacing it. "Go out with me, Lily…" I breathed, kissing my way from her mouth, along her jaw, and stopping at her neck, not letting my lips stray from her skin. Her breath hitched.

"James?" she asked again, this time with less insecurity, and more of something else…

"Lily," I whispered, biting her neck, hoping beyond hope that she would finally be mine after all the years of rejection and hurt. Her body went slack against mine and I felt her neck tense. That was all the answer I needed.

I opened my mouth fully, nipping her neck and gently sucking, marking her as mine to any man that might decide he wanted her.

I lifted my head to find Lily's eyes were closed, her mouth open, words forming without sound (it looked somewhere along the lines of "oh god oh god oh god.")

I smiled, pressing a kiss to her lips. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked at me, the emeralds cloudy. My grin got wider. She glared. I took her hand and lead her to the HCR.

_LPOV_: After James took me to the HCR, I excused myself to my room, hoping that maybe going to the scene of the crime would wake me from my dream. To my dismay (or should I say delight?) I didn't, and I realized that what had just occurred was indeed in the real world.

Now, I sat at my dressing table, examining the bruise on my neck. Yep, there was no denying it, there was a hickey there, the size of the moon, and there was no way I could hide it. _Dammit James_, I thought. As if on cue, there was a loud knock on my door.

I rose, but before I had taken so much as a step towards the door, it flew open and Brigit flounced in. I frowned. She grinned and sat on my bed.

"So I hear you and James are together now…" she said, knocking me off my mental feet. I stumbled around, trying not to fall. I quickly regained my balance and scowled, crossing my arms in the process.

"Oh really now? By who?" I half-growled.

Brigit's grin got wider. "I'm psychic!" I raised my eyebrows. She laughed so hard she almost fell off the bed. "Remus told me." My eyes widened. _How in the hell would __**Remus**__ know?_

"And where did he hear it from?" I asked, grimacing.

Brigit shrugged. "James was bragging about it at dinner."

I snarled, seriously wishing he were in front of me so I could tear him to shreds. "He was mistaken." Brigit's mouth dropped open. "As I recall, I was unable to deny him, as he had created quite a…" I struggled to find an accurate word. "Distraction." There, that was as good a description as any.

"How on Earth was James able to 'distract' you?" Brigit asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

I cringed. "He…um…" Realization dawned on Brigit's face.

"Oh, _that_ kind of distraction!" She looked uncomfortable as her eyes darted to look at the hickey. Then she shrugged again. "How was it?" she asked, her eyebrows waggling suggestively.

I gasped. "Brigit!"

She tried to look innocent (and trust me, Brigit trying to look innocent is a scary thing). "What?!"

I sighed. "Brigit…It was amazing…and that scares me…I don't know what to make of it. I'm even not sure if it's what I want."

I heard a noise in the doorway. It sounded like someone gasping after being hit in the stomach. I turned, as did Brigit. James stood in the door, his face twisted in pain.

"James!" I gasped, rushing towards him, wondering what was wrong. He recoiled as I reached out to touch him.

"Don't touch me!" he wheezed, struggling for breath. I frowned. _What on Earth?_

"James? What's wrong?" I stepped toward him, hoping to see something more in his eyes.

"Lily…" Brigit said, dragging my name out, warning me. I looked at her, confused. "Lily, something's wrong with him."

I glared and raised my eyebrows. "No shit, Sherlock. Anything else, Captain Obvious?"

Her eyes narrowed at me. "I'm thinking a curse, or a poison. There's something wrong… and I'm not sure if it's body or mind… or maybe both."

I looked at James. His face was pale and drawn, his black hair soaked with sweat. His breath was coming in sharp gasps, his chest barely moving as he struggled. I was torn between disgust for the person who had done this to James (alright, I admit, I was pissed) and a strong desire to help him. That desire overwhelmed the disgust easily and I turned to Brigit.

"Well don't just sit there! Help me get him to the hospital wing!" As I said it, James moaned and fell to the floor.

Brigit was off my bed in a flash and helping me lift James before I even knew she had moved.

"Damn… he's… heavy," Brigit panted as we struggled to lift him onto his feet. I could only grunt in response.

With effort, we were able to lift him and begin dragging him out the door.

_JPOV_: I wasn't really sure what happened. One minute, I was walking down the corridor and the next I was sinking to the floor. As I look back on it, my pumpkin juice did taste a little odd, but I didn't think much of it. Somehow, I managed to make my way to the HCR, but after that everything is hazy.

I remember hearing Lily talking about me. I remember shouting at her. I remember Brigit complaining about my being heavy. I remember waking up in the hospital wing a day later.

The room seemed to be bathed in a fog. I tried to move and found I was paralyzed. I tried thrashing to no avail.

"James?" Lily's voice floating somewhere in the fog. Then a blurry red flash. "James?" Lily's voice was closer now, and I felt something dip beside me. And then the fog cleared.

"Is that better?" Lily's face came into view, her eyes shining with happiness, but worry evident on her face.

I tried to shake my head, but I wasn't sure if I really had. My head felt filled with cotton. A smile barely graced Lily's face.

"What could make it better, I wonder?" she said, her voice suddenly taking on a seductive note. A breath escaped my throat as her fingers ran up my arm, not even touching me. A devilish smirk came to her lips as she slipped a hand behind my head and dipped her own. I almost cried as a second before her lips touched mine, she turned her head, her mouth marking my neck as mine had hers.

The cotton feeling in my head intensified as her lips moved, one hand caressing my chest, the other curling in my hair. Slowly, her head rose and she looked at me with such a desire in her eyes that, had I been able to move, I would have grabbed her and had my way with her right then and there.

"Better?" she asked, her voice husky, dripping seductive tendrils.

I shook my head. In all honesty, it was worse. No, not worse… better… but in a different way. She just had that effect on me. She smiled a sad smile and kissed my cheek.

I sputtered a protest, hoping that if I tried hard enough, she would kiss me properly. A finger to my lips shut me up immediately. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you, James. On the contrary…but…" She looked away, and suddenly the warmth she had brought over me vanished.

"What… happened?" I asked with difficulty, my voice hoarse; it didn't even sound like it belonged to me.

"Someone poisoned you last night, James…" she said, her voice hardly a whisper.

I laughed weakly. "Oh really? What was it this time?"

Lily's head spun around so fast I was afraid it would fly off. "You're kidding, right, James?" she asked, her voice and eyes filled with worry. I smiled. She smacked my arm. "You insufferable…UGH!" She moved faster than anything I had ever seen as she shot up from the bed and settled her flailing hands on her hips. "And to think…" she mumbled.

"Get some rest, James. You go back to classes tomorrow." With that, Lily turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

_LPOV_: Okay, so maybe it was a little harsh. But honestly, James was being an ass. Joking about something like that… I honestly had no idea what on Earth I was doing with him. Frankly, when it was past his, okay, I admit it, _killer_ looks, and his occasionally sweet words, James was just another teenage boy.

I mean, look at the way he asked me out. He pushed me up against a _wall_. While I enjoyed it, let's face it, there's no denying it, if he had allowed me to be lucid, would I have let it happen?

And then, he was _bragging_ about finally getting me to go out with him, like I was some great achievement that no one had ever obtained. What kind of _nice_ guy does that?

Honestly, I stayed in that mind set for the rest of the week, angry and hurt. I kept wondering why it was that I was with James. Why I _wanted_ to _be_ with him in the first place. And the answer was simple. I loved him. Much as I hated to admit it, I loved James Potter and despite everything he had done to me, everything that had ever happened between us, I still wanted to be with him, and I still loved him.

It was just that. I'm not even sure how or why it happened. Somewhere between all the arguments and fights, I had fallen in love with him. He was a prat, and on the surface, he seemed shallow, but I knew that James Potter was putting on an act for the world.

When he looked at me, I felt like he was looking straight into my soul. And I knew that the look I saw in his eyes every time he stared me down was just for me. And I knew that he was exposed because, for some reason, even if unintentionally, he let his guard down around me.

He knew… he knew that I was mad… or whatever I was… And I could see the pleading desperation in his eyes when he looked at me. He was afraid… And somehow, the knowledge that he was afraid of losing me—_me_—was satisfactory beyond anything else I had ever felt.

James was unsure as to how this was going to be, and if it was going to end almost as soon as it had begun. And with that realization, I was suddenly ashamed of myself. So I decided there was going to be no room for doubt.

After classes on Friday (when I knew James would be at Quidditch practice), I snuck up to the boys' dormitories and left a note on his pillow. I lingered longer than I should have, remembering that morning… I lingered so long, lost in my thoughts, that somewhere in the far reaches of my mind I registered voices coming from the corridor.

"Oh shit," I muttered, realizing what I had gotten myself into. I had hoped to just leave the note on his bed and get the hell out. I had just wanted to go and wait in the HCR. But no. I had to stay and indulge myself in fantasies involving James' bed and now I was going to get caught. I wanted James to know that there was no possibility that I was leaving; I did not want the rest of his friends to know…

"Shitshitshitshit…" I muttered over and over again, darting to the other side of the room and searching for a door. I found none and dived under the nearest bed (which consequently happened to be Sirius'), and just in the nick of time too. As I wiggled my way further under the bed, the door opened and I heard footsteps nearing my head. And then I couldn't breathe. There was no room for anything to move under his bed, what with me and all his junk, not to mention the fact that he was sitting on me and he didn't even know it!

Helplessly, I whimpered. And then the weight above me disappeared.

"Get out of there, Lily," said a smooth voice to my right. I turned my head and stuck my tongue out at Sirius Black.

"I…can't…" I gasped, trying to manoeuvre around his dirty clothes and other miscellaneous items.

"Come on, Lils, I'm sure it's not that hard," came Brigit's voice from somewhere to my left. I groaned and turned my head to the sound of her voice. And I caught sight of something I really could have gone the rest of my life without seeing.

"Is that… A _CONDOM_!?" I shouted. My efforts to escape redoubled as I squirmed to get as far away from the used piece of rubber as fast as the cramped space would allow.

A raucous laughter filled the room as Remus said, "Probably."

I groaned pitifully as I wriggled my way free of the bed and slowly rose to my feet. I crossed my arms and glared at the three. "How did you know I was under there?"

Sirius smirked at me. "The bed was lumpy," he stated simply.

"Princess…" I muttered. I turned to Brigit. "And what were _you_ doing in here?"

Brigit put her hands on her hips. "I could ask you the same thing…"

Sputtering indignantly, I turned on my heel and stormed out the door.

_JPOV_: I silently slipped into the HCR and was surprised by the lack of light. Oh, the room wasn't dark; the candles' flickering light cast shadows along the walls and gave the room a romantic feel.

I couldn't help but wonder what Lily was up to. She had avoided me all week, and suddenly I found a note on my bed asking me to meet her here. It was all very suspicious.

"Lily?" I called softly, afraid to speak too loud because the scene just seemed to ask for quiet.

"James," came a whispered reply from behind me. I felt the gentle pressure from her hands as she guided me forward to a divan that I hadn't even noticed. Those small hands were easing me onto the velvet cushions, and I couldn't find the strength in me to look away from those bright green eyes.

She turned her head and reached for the chocolate covered strawberries (were those there a minute ago?) and some fine white wine (again… where did that come from?), pouring a little in each of two champagne flutes.

Slowly, she raised the first strawberry to her lips and took a dainty bite, and I swear that one little movement had all the blood in my body going on a trip to visit my little friend. She took the strawberry from her lips, licking the juice that had leaked from the fruit, and then that strawberry was headed straight for my mouth.

My mouth opened before I had even had time to process what was happening. What the hell was going on here? I mean yes, Lily had said she wanted to apologize in the note, and this was certainly one hell of an apology, but what on Earth was she apologizing _for_?

The strawberry was one of the sweetest I had ever tasted, but the eyes of the person holding it distracted me from anything else. Her eyes held mine as she lifted the wine-filled flutes, handing me one and taking a sip from hers in the most sensuous movement I had ever seen.

I almost dropped the glass as she leaned forward and breathed on my ear.

"I'm not going anywhere, James, so stop worrying," she whispered, her words and her nearness intoxicating me in a way no wine ever could. And her words… How had she have wrapped up an assurance to every insecurity I had been feeling all week?

Slowly, I raised my hand to cup her head as she pulled back. My fingers tangled in her hair and she leaned into my hand, her eyes never straying from mine. And in those deep pools of green I could see that the words she spoke held a sincerity that she could never put into words.

_LPOV_: I had planned the night to be romantic, not at all seductive (all right, maybe… a little…) but with James' hand in my hair, his callused fingers massaging my scalp with a gentleness that surprised me, I found that all my plans for the night going out the window. How could I concentrate on convincing him to trust me when the very knowledge that he was in the room had me riding a high I had never known?

His eyes held such an intensity, such a passion, that I thought maybe I would explode from all the emotions they were building in me. My eyes drifted closed and I leaned my head into his hand. I swear I didn't feel him move, but a second after my eyes had closed, I felt his lips on mine. It wasn't a kiss; they were just there.

"Open your eyes," he whispered in a gentle yet commanding voice and I found my eyes opening without my consent. "I'm not the only one you're trying to convince, am I, Lily?"

I gasped at the hurt in his voice, wondering what had brought that on. "This night isn't about me, James."

He lightly pecked my lips before he pulled back, relaxing into the divan, pulling me down with him. I settled my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his steady heartbeats and not so steady breathing.

"Lily, who are you afraid is going to leave?" he asked finally, pulling me from the light slumber I had drifted into.

I sighed and propped myself on one elbow. "You," I said simply, after studying his eyes for a second. One eyebrow rose.

"Why would you think that the thought would even enter my mind?" he asked, the words holding sincere confusion. I sighed again and dropped back down to lay my head on his chest.

"It's just… James… I… don't know."

His body shifted and suddenly, my head was plunging into the pillows. I looked up, knowing that I had said the wrong thing and hoping that he wasn't going to walk out the door.

I really needn't have worried. As I lifted my head, I saw James' hazel eyes staring at me from the other side of the sofa.

"Lily, I'm not going anywhere. I've waited too long for you to be here with me to let it go," he said earnestly. I looked at him with a sad smile.

"I know, James… But every girl you've been with, you've dumped in a week or less…"

The angry look in James' eyes scared me. "Lily, listen to me. You are not one of those girls. The only reason those relationships didn't last was because they weren't _you_. I couldn't stand to be with anyone less than Lily Evans."

_JPOV_: So that's why she had been so cold. She bought into the whole "player" persona that I presented to everyone else. Well she was going to find out how opposite that person was from who I really was.

Placing a hand on Lily's shoulder, I pushed her on her back. Her eyes looked alarmed for a second, but the look I gave her had her relaxing. I sat on the edge of the divan, levitating the plate of strawberries and the champagne flutes. Taking a strawberry from its fellows, I touched it gently to Lily's lips.

Her mouth opened slowly, taking a little nibble from the chocolate-dipped morsel. When she had eaten all of the strawberry, I placed a small kiss at the corner of her mouth. As I pulled away, I handed her a flute and a satisfactory smile came to my face at the glazed look in her eyes.

It went on like that until all the strawberries were gone. Sometimes she would feed me one, sometimes the kiss would be longer, deeper, but the order was always the same: strawberry, kiss, wine. By the end of the night, I was so aroused that I thought maybe I would burst from my pants. Lily saw this and smiled.

She took my hand and slid off the divan in a lithe movement that did nothing to help the situation she had no doubt intended to put me in. I thought briefly that I should have been offended by that, but found that I couldn't be bothered as Lily led me to my room.

Stopping at my door, she turned to look at me. She stepped close and rose onto her toes, placing her lips on mine. My hands found themselves at her waist; her hands found their way around my neck and into my hair. My tongue grazed over her lower lip, and she pulled away.

"Goodnight, James," she said, a bit breathlessly. Then she turned on her heel and drifted away to her own room.

_LPOV_: Over the next two weeks, James and I got closer. I found I didn't care what people thought when we walked down the hall hand-in-hand. I didn't care who saw us kiss when we parted ways. I didn't care who whispered when we sat close at meals. Because, to me, the other people didn't exist.

I had to admit, I was a bit sceptical that he hadn't asked me to sleep with him yet. James was notorious for his sex-drive, and I had heard that he couldn't go more that a few days without getting some. Or maybe I had heard that about Sirius…

Speaking of Sirius, he and a certain best friend of mine were getting a bit chummy. When they thought no one was looking, they snuck secret glances at each other, they sat across from each other at the Gryffindor table (and who knew what was going on _under_ it) and I even walked in on a snogging session.

It seemed everyone was getting together. Remus had even found himself a girl from Ravenclaw. I still didn't know her very well, but she seemed right for Remus. She was intelligent, and even I couldn't help but listen in awe when she talked. Her accent wasn't as remarkable as Brigit's (she was Irish, which really wasn't very unusual) but the way she talked just caught one's ear. Her name was Lathia Dolohov, I think. Her brother was a Slytherin, and one of my worst tormentors, but Lathia was _nice_.

She was definitely someone I could see myself being friends with.

"You know what?" Brigit asked suddenly at dinner one night. We all looked up from our plates. "I don't care if I'm in Britain, I want to have a Thanksgiving feast," she ploughed on. The rest of us looked at her like she was crazy (and she quite possibly was).

"Wuzthnksgvin?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of potatoes. Lathia (who was sitting with us that night), Brigit and I looked at him in disgust.

Looking away from her "secret" boyfriend, Brigit turned to me. "Thanksgiving is a holiday that we celebrate in the States. It's always on November 26. We give thanks for all the things we're glad to have in our lives. It's basically a day to spend with family and tell people how much they mean to you." Brigit sighed, a sad glint in her eye. "But since I can't spend Thanksgiving with my family, I want to spend it with you guys."

I felt for Brigit. I mean, there was a holiday she was used to celebrating and she couldn't celebrate it in a country that knew nothing much of it. Reaching out, I put my hand on hers. "Let's go talk to Dumbledore about it after dinner, 'kay? I'm sure he wouldn't mind accommodating a guest."

Brigit smiled at me, and when the last plates from dessert had disappeared, we rose from the table and headed to the teachers'. Dumbledore looked at us curiously, but his baby blue eyes sparkled over his half-moon glasses.

"What can I do for you, ladies?" he asked pleasantly. I sighed and looked him straight in his striking eyes.

"Sir, Brigit misses home and would like to celebrate a holiday from there. Do you think we could have a classic Thanksgiving feast in honour of her homeland?" I asked, hoping that Dumbledore would grant us that one wish (I just made him sound like a genie, didn't I?).

Dumbledore simply nodded and turned his gaze to Brigit. "My dear, what are the usual foods served during this 'Thanksgiving'?"

Brigit grinned and proceeded to tell the Headmaster all the things one would find on the average Thanksgiving table.

Five days later, Brigit and I walked into the Great hall to find there were autumn leaves everywhere. On all the house tables were giant cornucopias filled with squashes and red berries, surrounded by little pumpkins. Excited to spend my first Thanksgiving with people I was truly grateful to have in my life, I walked up the isle with Brigit to the teacher's table where Dumbledore sat.

He held an odd satisfactory look on his face as we approached. "I find it is to your liking?"

Brigit grinned and promptly levitated herself over the table (showoff…) and hugged the Headmaster. He actually blushed and gingerly patted Brigit on the back, as if he didn't know what to do (and I'm fair sure he didn't).

As quickly as she had gone over the table, Brigit levitated back and stood next to me, an exhilarated smile stuck on her face. "Thank you, Professor," I said, looking at my friend with admiration and shock.

Brigit grinned at me and headed back to the table, dragging me with her. We sat and waited for the rest of the student body to come pouring through the doors. The first wave stopped dead in their tracks, stunned to see decorations for a day that the rest of them knew to be just like any other.

I laughed a little. _Thanksgiving in a British school_… It was definitely an odd thought. The students, getting over the initial surprise, found their way to their seats, still looking a little confused. Brigit was still grinning like an idiot as our friends sat next to us, taking in the atmosphere with only slightly less shock than the other students.

James leaned over to me with only one word to say: "Wow." I smiled. After all the students had settled in their seats, Dumbledore rose and the buzzing chatter died immediately.

"Students, as you all know, we have an exchange student from America among us," he started, and I figured he was going to explain to the audience why the Great Hall was decorated so. "She has asked me to share with you all a holiday that only Americans celebrate. It's called 'Thanksgiving.' It is a day to give thanks for all the good things in your life, and I think that in times like this, we have much to be thankful for. I would like you all to pick up the piece of paper on your plates—" I looked down to see a quill and parchment that had not been there before, "—and write down one thing that you are thankful for this year."

The students all picked up the quills and did as Dumbledore asked. Before all my classmates had finished, house elves began to walk down the isles between the tables, collecting the scraps of paper. When all the papers had been collected, the house elves scurried to the Headmaster, stacking their small plates before him and leaving as quick as they had come.

Dumbledore rose again, and with a simple "Be thankful," mounds of food appeared before us. There were wild turkeys and roasted duck; creamy mashed potatoes and thick turkey gravy; squashes and broccoli casserole; cranberry sauce and stuffing; sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows on top; and our usual pumpkin juice was joined with a rarity: warm apple cider and cinnamon.

"Damn, you Americans sure know how to eat!" exclaimed Sirius as he and James spilt a turkey between them. Brigit laughed a little as she cut pieces of dark and light meat for us. I served up the potatoes and casserole, eager to enjoy America without leaving home.

Dinner passed with little talk, the boys too absorbed in their disturbing eating habits to engage in anything but the food before them. Brigit and I shared a few of the things we were thankful for, like James, or having friends such as each other. As the first course disappeared, Brigit grinned and looked at me with a glint in her eyes that said, "You're in for a real treat."

Before us appeared cake tiers, each level alternating between apple, pecan and pumpkin pies. Brigit cut a piece of each for me and took one giant piece of pumpkin for herself.

Sirius looked at her with awe. Her mouth open wide, she stared back at him, the alarm rising in her eyes.

"What?" she asked around the pie.

"Nothing. I just love a girl who knows how to eat," Sirius answered, his attention going back to the entire pie he had stolen.

James put his hand on my lower back, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "He's not the only one…"

I glared at James. "You twit." All he did was grin at me, and it infuriated me to no end.

"You know what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving?" James asked as his arm snaked around my waist. I looked up at him. "I am thankful for Lily Evans!" he proclaimed.

I dropped my head in my hands, sure even the people in Hogsmeade had heard him. But inwardly, I was glad. I was thankful for James Potter too.


	3. Preview: I Give You My Hart

_**Preview of Chapter Three: I Give You My Hart**_

_But the girls… the girls were the worst. They hated me. I knew as soon as I walked into a room and silence greeted me. I knew when girls would stare at me and wish that looks could kill. I just knew._

_--_

_One of them, a girl with her school skirt hemmed far higher than the dress code allowed, raised her wand and suddenly my lip had split and blood started staining my blouse._

_--_

_I looked at her with as much hate as I could find. "Take it up with him. I'm not his keeper, just his girlfriend."_

_--_

**Alright, y'all, I think I've got where this is going to go... Just for the record, I am NEVER doing that again... But anyway, I won't be able to write much for the next few weeks... Last weeks of school... Hectic... And then I have finals... So, the story probably won't be updated until...June? ish? I'm sure you can stick it out that long... in the meantime... Let your overactive imaginations run amok, and dammit, REVIEW!**


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